Listening is an active skill. Whereas hearing is passive, listening is something that we have to work at. It's a relationship with sound. And yet it's a skill that none of us are taught. For example, have you ever considered that there are listening positions, places you can listen from? Here are two of them. Reductive listening is listening "for." It reduces everything down to what's relevant and it discards everything that's not relevant. Men typically listen reductively. So he's saying, "I've got this problem." He's saying, "Here's your solution. Thanks very much. Next." That's the way we talk, right guys? Expansive listening, on the other hand, is listening "with," not listening "for." It's got no destination in mind. It's just enjoying the journey. Women typically listen expansively. If you look at these two, eye contact, facing each other, possibly both talking at the same time. Men, if you get nothing else out of this talk, practice expansive listening, and you can transform your relationships.