It took me a while to figure out but the key to understanding your Uncle Barney is this. When times are hard, it's impossible to keep him around. Like when your aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall were broken up. Hey. What are you guys talking about? Lily. I got to go. But when times are good, it's impossible to get rid of him. What are you guys doing? We just finished planning Marshall's bachelor party. Good, you haven't started yet. Let's talk logistics. Now, have you laid out ground rules with Lily? Where you are or aren't allowed to touch or be touched? Show me on Ted. Actually, we're, uh, we're thinking of skipping the strippers. You... you want to have a party without strippers. This was the worse thing I could have said. You see, uncle Barney loved cooking up bachelor parties. And it was always the same recipe. You start with a slightly cramped hotel suite. Arrange the chairs in a circle... Fill them with your closest friends. Turn the heat up to about 90. Pump in a metric ton of cigar smoke. And then, right in the middle of the room, you throw in a girl.