After much thought, I came up with a brilliant plan for Rich to meet my mother and win her over. In fact, I arranged it so my mother would want to cook a meal especially for him. One day, my mother called me, to invite me to a birthday dinner for my father. My brother Vincent was bringing his girlfriend, Lisa Lum. I could bring a friend, too. I knew she would do this, because cooking was how my mother expressed her love, her pride, her power, and her proof that she knew more than anyone else. "Just be sure to tell her later that her cooking was the best you ever tasted," I told Rich. "Believe me." The eve of the dinner, I sat in the kitchen watching her cook, waiting for the right moment to tell her about our marriage plans.