You work for PJT Ltd, a manufacturing company. You need more staff in your department and your line manager has asked you to write a report explaining why.

Look at the information below, on which you have already made some handwritten notes.
Then, using all your handwritten notes, write your report.
Write 120-140 words.



學生作文:
The purpose of this report is to explain why we need more staff in our department.

We compare the number of staff in our department between 2001 and 2003, it only increased five staff. But the average number of ordered units grow up from 200000 to 400000 between 2001 and 2003.

Our sales department has announced a big new order from an international company recently. It will bring us much more workload. And the annual holiday increased to 5 weeks per year. That means that we have more workload and less working days.

If we had more staff the order should be on time. We should save our company’s reputation. And the workflow will be improved.

作文解析:
BEC中級的大作文題型一般以寫報告、書信為主,因此,這些常考問題的具體格式必須掌握。英文商務報告的格式有五個部分組成,其中包括報告的Subject, Introduction (This report aims/sets out to……),F(xiàn)indings (it was found that), Conclusions(It was decided/agreed/felt that……), Recommendations (It is suggested that…..) 括號中是每段開頭固定的表達方式,考生不宜自己去創(chuàng)造。同樣寫信也有格式化的表達方式,再此恕不展開。 和第一部分一樣,大作文的寫作審題是第一步,所有給出的已知條件必須用足。

本文中:

1.考生的習文字數(shù)恰當。但沒有把報告應有的四個部分寫完整,這將導致大量失分。 在以上的習文中,考生表現(xiàn)出了不錯的語言駕馭能力。
2.在審題上還有一些欠缺,比如 Another reason for more staff is that we will have fewer delays. 在題目中給出的已知條件中,有一份客戶的投訴信件,應當作為佐證被引用,否則order should be on time無從談起。
3.除了沒有按照報告的固定格式外,考生語言太隨意。比如說,our sales department has announced a big new order,沒有出處,而根據(jù)文章中給出的已知條件,這是公司Newsletter所通告的,那么根據(jù)報告的要求,應該指出信息來源。
4.中國學生還普遍特別敏感的就是企業(yè)的信譽,因此經(jīng)常會看到學生動輒就是喊口號的語言,比如說文中We should save our company’s reputation. 這樣空洞無物的話應該避免。
5.還有就是細節(jié)處理,句子和段落之間連接忽略了。比如說,It will bring us much more workload. And the annual holiday increased to 5 weeks per year. 以及最后一句話And the workflow will be improved.其中的and 這個詞用在這里顯隨意了些,可以考慮用Meanwhile 有“禍不單行”的意思。后面的And 應該刪除。That means that we have more workload 這里兩個that離的太近,可以考慮把后面一個去掉,同時時態(tài)應該是we will have。

范文:
Report on: More staff in our department
Date: 27.03.2004

Introduction

This report aims to explain why our department needs more staff.

Findings

Statistics show that there exists a big gap between the number of staff in our department and staff workload. While the number of ordered units grew up from only 200000 to 400000 in 2 years, the number of staff grew only by 5 people. According to the Staff Newsletter dated February 2004, we have won a big new order from an international company. That will bring us more work. At the same time, annual holiday has been increased to 5 weeks per year, meaning there won’t be enough staff for all the work. Our customer service department recently received a complaint from one of our clients about a tremendous delay in our delivery.

Conclusion
There are many reasons which explain the need of more staff. It is especially important for reducing the number of delays in delivery and to optimize the workflow.

Recommendations

More staff does not only mean more costs, it also means improved customer satisfaction.